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A programmer's year-end summary written in PHP code_PHP tutorial
A programmer's year-end summary written in PHP code_PHP tutorial
I saw a year-end summary of PHP code ridicule in PHP China. The writing was quite interesting, so I will share it here. Programmers need to be funny and flexible. The guy who wrote this code must be a pretty interesting person.
<?php
# 兄弟们, 第一步写什么?
# 这年头上帝都靠不住, 安全重要
error_reporting(0);
# 年终报告规定用语, 这一定得用呀, 不然, 你死都不知道怎么死.
echo '亲爱的领导!';
# 要获得领导重视的年终奖,一定要用php语言来写, 不然公司招你进来做什么
define('USERNAME','李刚二世');
# 要第一眼引起观注, 你懂的, 写个标题.
$title = '年终总结是根据年终奖多少比例形成的三个代表意识文献';
# 接着, 你一定要做以下这件事, 不然, 你的确够蛋疼
$into = $end_of_the_year_award - ($you_into + $end_of_the_year_award * 0.2);
# phper怎么也得展示一下你的技术所在.
echo $b = is_numeric($a) === true?intval(rand(999,max($a,999))) > 'bbbbbbbbb'?2:'B':max($a + 0,22222222) * $a + 0 < 2?'BBBBBBBBBB':222222222222222;
# 接着, 写正式年终报告
if($into >= 100000)
echo '在领导们辛勤引领下, 我工作得非常happy';
if($into <= 50000)
echo '不好意思, 公司美工经常拖放任务进程.';
if($into <= 5000)
echo '公司的整个项目都立场不对, 像一垃圾项目, 我强烈建议推倒重新架构';
if($into <= 1000)
echo '浮云'; // 为什么只写两个字呢? 因为工资份量, 一字值500, 年终奖才1000.
if($into == '明年会补偿给你')
alert('后果相当严重'); // 后果就是把php气得写js了.
# 年终总结也被称为感想, 所此, 你可以写一写, 领导一般不会怪你.
echo '公司单身美女太少';
# 优秀的程序员总是在空闲的时刻记录日志
error_log('心情有如刚进公司时的五味杂陈');
# 能够完整写个年终报告是件技术活, 中途总会被客服调戏一下.
echo 'Anna: 哥, 请帮我把这个订单5645165456修改产品名lady gaga V2';
# 特别是这几天, 异常傻痛.
echo '人民的好英雄, 人民的好党员金大哥离开了, 作为phper, 难道不应该伤痛一下?';
# 给领导讲点曲线指数之类的, 会表现得比较专业.
echo '公司销售比上年增长了12%, 比5年前增长了120%, 比50年前增长了12000%';
# 讲讲自己的工作职责. 注意别讲太细腻.
echo '为公司成功上市作出努力贡献'; // 贡献这两字一定要加.
# 你总得提点工资要求吧?
echo '为了公司成功上市, 我愿意做出工资上的贡献'; // 恶心地写上贡献二字.
# 作为文艺青年, 你得写一段比较文采性的字.
echo '晨光迎着窗户照射在床头, 我睁开双眼, 甜美地微笑了, 为了公司成功上市, 我要起床';
# 也许你还可以写些伟大理想给领导, 这是走向成功之路的重要一步.
echo '希望贾内德上船之前能够告诉我们船票是多少钱一张. 同时也希望深圳房价不要跌入2万内';
# 快到结束了, 你当然要写些轰动的字眼, 让领导睡间苏醒.
echo '领导,我要告诉你, 我已经有了, 你懂的.';
# 作为技术员, 个人觉得这函数一定要调用.
end();
# 最后, 难道还要我教你吗?
?>
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