Bad CSS-Dad jokes

As a dad who works with CSS, it was only a matter of time before I started cracking bad dad jokes about web development and CSS (isn't that what I've been doing all along?)

So, here you go: a collection of some really bad CSS-dad jokes. Several have already made it to the comiCSS site. Some others may end up as a cartoon sooner rather than later. Some are originals, and many are adaptations of existing dad jokes. None of them are AI-generated. All of them are wonderfully awful... and, unfortunately (for you), you are in for some (questionable) CSS fun!

All the drawings accompanying this article are HTML and CSS. I will link to the source code when available.

Here we go...

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What is CSS Developers' favorite drink?
:root beer.

I must admit this is a PG version. After sharing this joke online the other day, I got some alternatives that also work for Web Developers:

• strong .coffee { filter: none }
• DOM Perignon
• FlexBox wine

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Why did the chicken cross the web?
To get to the other site.

They are not all going to be winners... actually... most of them won't be winners at all.

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Me (a dad) when using animation-direction: reverse.
"Ah! This takes me back."

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I was going to tell you a joke about negative animation-delay...
but you didn't get it.

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Why did the CSS file go shopping for clothes?
It needed a new style.

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What's SVG's favorite TV host?
Doctor Fill.

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Why couldn't the Web Developer align the div?
Because it was positioned off-the-grid.

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Why do Web Developers have trust issues?
Because DarkGray.

Ok, this one does not really have a punchline (do any of them anyway?) But it is true: in CSS, DarkGray is lighter than Gray . Which is interestingly annoying. Another weird fact about CSS: the bolder font-weight can be lighter than the bold font weight. Because... CSS?

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Why are CSS Developers always sad?
They never float on air.

I recently posted an alternative comic to this one just a few weeks ago. You can find a live demo and source code here.

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Why did the Web Developer stop going to the lazy river?
They didn't like to float.

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How do CSS Developers stay on top of things?
They use z-index: max(Infinity);

I also did an alternative to this one on the site (source code). The result is neat, and I think the wooden texture (also in CSS) is well achieved.

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Why does the CSS file never feel cold?
Because it always has an extra @layer.

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Why do people tend to avoid Web Developers?
Because they are just flexing all the time.

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CSS Developers are great dancers,
they know all the steps()

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How many CSS Developers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. It is a hardware issue.

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How many CSS Developers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They are Ok working on dark mode.

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How many JavaScript Developers does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But they'll need 5GB in node_modules, TailwindCSS, their very own implementation of the lefty-loosey-righty-tighty.js library, and the latest MacBook Pro to handle everything. The resulting JS file will be 8MB and only change the light bulb if the room has Chrome in it.

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Why do Web Developers have a tough time getting a driver's license?
They pass the written or the driving test, but they rarely clear:both

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Brains are amazing. they work nonstop 24/7 from the moment you are born until the moment you need to remember if it's align-text or text-align.

And that's it! That was the last one... which also has an HTML+CSS version on the comiCSS site. I hope you enjoyed them and that they were not as terrible as you expected.

Have a great time!

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